Just when we think we’ve got the hang of child rearing, our kids morph into teenagers. “The biggest mistake parents make,” according to Brad Sachs, Ph.D., author of The Good Enough Teen (Perennial Publishing, January 2005), “is clinging to the status quo. Adolescence, just like every other developmental milestone, is a time of change for the whole family.”
Here’s how to be a good-enough parent:
Explain the rules. Teens deserve more than “Because I say
so.” Tell them the reasons you expect
certain behavior and the consequences of noncompliance. Model rewards and specific praise when teens
follow through appropriately. Having
limits is reassuring to kids and it helps them learn how to set boundaries with
friends.
Don’t rescue them. It’s important for teens to understand consequences. If she gets caught speeding, let her figure out how to pay the ticket.
Respond at your own pace. Everything is an emergency to our teens, but you don’t have to react with that same sense of urgency.
Hear your child out. Then say what you need to say, and disengage. Arguing diminishes your authority.
Respect their boundaries, but know the difference between privacy and secrecy.
Get a life and don’t be overly involved. Letting go is hard, but your job is to show you trust their capacity to make decisions by gradually relinquishing the reins.
Adapted from Family Circle,